Dethroning Cinderella

Many Jewish girls grow up in the same way that I did; namely, find a boy and he'll take care of you. This credo implies that
1) When we have a problem, we should turn to our boyfriend or spouse and he'll rescue us.
2) Conversely, we are unable to solve our own problems.
3) Another person is responsible for our happiness.
4) Conversely, we are incapable or devoid of that responsibility.
5) We can be happy only when we are with someone else, not when we're alone.

This Cinderella Complex has jeopardized marriages, eviscerated girls' self-images, and doomed them to a life of dependency and unhappiness.

It's time we recognized that the root of Cinderella is "cinder" and that too many relationships are set afire from the smoldering ashes of dependency.

Two people who are strong, capable and ready to love and be loved can truly be a Royal Couple.

Preparing for the New Year without Guilt

Some people like this time of year. I find it very difficult. Examining oneself can easily lead to derogating oneself. Looking at what went wrong causes one to minimize or ignore what went right. In sum, self-examination in preparation for the New Year can be downright depressing.

Indeed I've often thought that women have an extra "guilt gene". Some of us feel guilty at the slightest hint of having done something wrong. And, if we didn't do anything, we'll even make it up to satisfy the other person's perception of us!

Pardon me for my sins. Atone my wrongdoings. Excuse my errors.

Never mind. I'm moving on. I've apologized enough this year. I'm focusing on what I do right!